I need your advince and help.?

Hi, I am a student studying English and I’ trying to write in English what i’ve watched on the news to brush up my english.

Today, I’ve wrtitten few sentences in English..

1.The Mission of Police is not only to prevent crime but also to arrest suspect and collect evidence in order to take legal actions.

2.Our advanced system makes it possible for us to deal with every case as we see rather than relying on the information on the calls

Further more, the 52-inch screen in front of us displays every situation in real time which is automatically recorded.

3.The noticeable point of this system is we can change the angle of the camera it faces and the level of the zoom with a remote control moreover it’s also possible to zoo-in an object ahead of 20 meters.

I know, you must have picked out many mistakes or akwanrd sentences.

Would you please let me know where I’ve made mistakes and please correct them. or it would be nice of you to tell me the alternatives that you think .

Top 2 Answers

A few days ago

Anonymous

Favorite Answer

1. the police, suspects, action (By the way, it is not the mission of the police to prevent crime. That cannot be done. Think about it, can you arrest someone who hasn’t committed a crime? No, they have to do it first)

2. Change: “as we see” to “as they occur”, “on the calls” to “from calls”. Add period after “calls”.

2. Second sentence is awkward. Suggested rewrite: “Furthermore (one word) every situation is automatically recorded and displayed on the 52-inch screen in real time.

3. Leave out “it faces”. Put a period after “control” because you have a run on sentence as there are two different subjects. Then change the second sentence to: “Moreover, it is possible to zoom in on an object out to 20 meters.” Actually, this is confusing so I’d simply say: “Moreover, it is possible to zoom in on any object”. I’m not certain what is meant by the “20 meters” part.

You have done well with these. The mistakes are minor. Keep up your studies and I suggest that you read English and American newspapers to acquire a sense of how the language is used in everyday life.

5 years ago

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I need your advince and help.?

I need your advince and help.?

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