Help me make this sentance sound better please!!?
I think that it sounds like a little kid wrote it, yet I cant seem to make it sound better. If you can think of a better word insted of saying “how much” or use bigger words that would help. Im just editing my essay and need a little help!! Thanks Sooo much!!
Favorite Answer
On his trip to Paris Ossian realizes the depth of discrimination in America.
On his trip to Paris Ossian realizes the extent of discrimination in America.
On his trip to Paris Ossian is disillusioned by discovering the degree of discrimination in America.
As far as replacing ‘how much’ you might try the following (although there really is nothing wrong with ‘how much’):
On his trip to Paris, Ossian realized the magnitude of discrimination in America.
Ossian realizes how much discrimination there is in America after visiting Paris.
-MM
(By the way, Ossian’s right!)
PS.just wondering, how could he/she conclude about America on a Paris trip:s??..
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