Frist, I got confused by the second sentence that begins, “As his hands pushed at the ground…” I see Upenyu already raised in a sitting position according to the end of the first sentence and I can’t figure out why he is trying to lift his upper body, if he is already sitting. If I’m sitting on the ground and pushing with my hands, I don’t understand how this is going to help me raise my upper body. I would need to use my legs to raise my upper body at this point. However, if this sentence is a reference to Upenyu’s actions to raise himself into the sitting position, then I suggest the verb wording be changed in the second sentence to, “As his hands HAD pushed at the ground…” This verb form refers to what just happenned previously instead of what is happenning in the present.

At the end, too, your choice of the word “searching” didn’t quite convey go me that he was looking all around him. I know that is what searching means, but as it was used with someone so dazed and confused, my first impression was that he was searching his mind. So, when you next describe 360 degrees of scenary, I wonder how Upenyu knew that much about his surroundings. If it were me, I would add a little more to make it clear that Upenyu took some time to gather things in. Maybe he even stood up first, which is what I would do if I were trying to get a good look around.

I know this all may sound like nitpicking. But, the rest is such good description that I wanted a clearer picture of what was going on without having to re-read and re-think those two parts. I can get to that understanding without changing the words. But, the flow is interrupted while I try to reconcile where my mind is going that seems different than what the words seem to tell me at first reading.