I like these little exercises.

I rang the doorbell, he answered looking like death warmed over. Bud bottle in hand, cigarette dangling, he gestured a welcome, mumbling “welcome to my nightmare. Yes…do come in.” I hesitated, then strode into the room. “Looks like a bomb went off in here” I observed.

“Well, actually, you are on the mark. Some buck at my party had a stick of dynamite in his back pocket, and another brain surgeon thought it was a cigar. You get the picture.”

“Are you telling me FACTS or fiction, dude? You’ve got my poor heart thumpin’!”

“Yeah, uh huh, whatever…I’m tellin the truth. Check out this big hole in the floor.”

I walked over to the hole and peered over the edge. Before I could retreat, the floorboard I stood upon cracked and gave way. I fell, grabbed a floor beam on the way down and hung there.

“HOLY CRAP, HELP ME! GET A ROPE!” I screamed!

“whoa, dude, good grab!” he said, sipping his beer.

“In the event you didn’t hear me…HELP!!!” I yelled, my grip weakening.

“All right, all right” he said, disappearing.

He returned just before my grip failed, and I crashed nine feet to the floor below. He started laughing.

I got up slowly and yelled “What the hell is SO FUNNY!”

“It’s all rock and roll to me, dude!” he answered idiotically.

It was raining in Los Angeles, I was on the night watch, My partner and I were called from headquarters to investigate a shooting in a residental area, known for drug distribution. We drove up to the apartment in question, just in time to see a young white male running from the apartment, I yelled” Stop Police” he paused a minute and started to run, just as my partner nailed him. He started talking so fast we couldnt understand him, my partner said”ARE YOU TELLING ME FACTS OR FICTION” he began to speak a little more coherent He asked us to let him go that his mother was ill and he needed to get her medicine. I said’MY POOR HEART IS THUMPIN’.We turned him around and headed to the apartment. I knocked on the door and a very scantily clad female answered the door. I asked if we could come in and she said’WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE, YES, DO COME IN. I told her we were answering a call about a shooting at this address, She mumbled something that I could not understand, I said “IN THE EVENT YOU DIDN’T HEAR ME….HELP….We need some answers, she said…ITS ALL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME, DUDE. We found a recently fired pistol on the sofa and a small hole in the ceiling. I asked if she had fired this weapon, she said she had, in anger because her brother had stolen money for drugs. We asked her if this was her brother and she said YEAH, UH HUH, WHATEVER. She did not have a permit, so we confiscated the gun and let them off with a warning.

YES

And as that is all you have asked that’s all I will say

You and Sarge are the pros at this. I am clueless. Sorry.