But I’ve been so busy, I almost forget that I had to get those stupid things in tomorrow. Like my Oma always said, “Girl, you are ALWAYS tryin’ to put 3. One bean too many into all your pots, aren’t you?” Well, she DID say it in German, but that was the gist of it, anyway. And she was right, as always. Here I am, 4. Trapped by my own desire to do it all, do it best, do it faster.

Sitting here, I’m doing page set-ups at top speed and spell-checker is failing all over the place, as usual. How am I supposed to figure out how to spell all these stupid words, anyway? Jeez, I don’t know why my silly company put me in charge of 5. The affair, anyway. This is NOT in my job description.

Well, by now, I’m a 6. Dead ringer for something the cat dragged in, having been out all night (again) with my sweetie, just enjoying 2. The love of night together — if you catch my drift.

Anyway, Sarge, that is the reason I can’t do this short story for you today. Sorry, that’s how it goes! ;~)

The best ambush we had ever laid out was an L shaped one which was guaranteed to wow the lane graders as they watched what would surely be a complete devastation of the “enemy” patrol.

Unfortunately for one of the staff sergeants, he had eaten “one bean too many” and he let the most horrific gaseous explosion just as the patrol was close to entering our perfectly laid trap!

We were no longer the hunters, but now the hunted as the patrol fanned out and began to probe our positions. Trapped! What could we do, the perfect ambush was now a sad shambles…

The approaching dawn confirmed our suspicions that “the affair” had ended badly. One of the lane graders laughing at us said “you are a dead ringer for the cocky 2nd lieutenant who thought he had laid the perfect ambush, too bad he is now hanging his head in shame, huh?”

Ah the best laid plans of mice and men…

All week I had been working on my presentation to sell our new products to the Merrymount Company. I had a couple more items I needed to put in place so my DEADLINE AT NOON was going to be met. The boss said I could have the morning off so I decided to go for a walk near the park and through the zoo. I always loved going there because it was a great place to lose one’s self for awhile. The animals could be priceless to watch at times.

At the gates I grabbed a bag of feed to throw to some of them then started down the first path. The birds and butterflies were as beautiful as ever but a shame to be pinned in. Even though I come here I can’t help feeling they should all be free in their own world but then I wouldn’t get to see any of them at all.

I stopped to watch the antics of the monkeys and threw them a few peanuts that were in my bag of various animal munchies. They were good as a concert swinging from branch to branch and reaching for more.

I continued on my own little tour, stopped for a coffee near the duck pond, threw a handful of goodies to them, and slowly took my time coming back. I noticed that there weren’t very many people around this morning. Oh well, all the more peaceful for me to hear the sounds around me.

I stopped on my way back to see those charming swinging creatures for a few minutes more. As I looked around I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed the new baby monkey clinging to its mother. Ah, THE AFFAIR and results of another pair in love! Just then I noticed the side door where the zoo keeper goes in and it looked like it was slightly open so I went around checking it. Sure enough it was open. I couldn’t resist peeking in carefully. I figured I’d leave the rest of my feed but just as I threw some I heard the door close. It was instant panic and ONE BEAN TO MANY as I heard and saw the remainders go flying into the center of the cage. I was TRAPPED inside a monkey cage and no way out. I ran to the corner and crouched down behind a wood carton that was there. How was I going to explain this? I was a DEAD RINGER for missing my presentation and possible promotion.

“Oh for THE LOVE OF NIGHT, do I really have to wait that long before I get out of here?” The zoo keeper probably wouldn’t be around until then. If it was possible to panic more, I did. I stayed as quiet as I could so none of those not so charming critters would come back where I was. It was a very long afternoon and could have been longer but for some reason the keeper came by at 2pm. I didn’t know who was startled most when he opened the door and I dashed out.

My DEADLINE AT NOON of course was long gone and I now had to call and explain how I got TRAPPED and spent a glorious morning crouched in a monkey cage.

My boss thought it was so hilarious he couldn’t get angry at me and made another meeting arrangement. I didn’t think it was funny at all but I was thrilled when I still got my promotion.