“May the devil have ye for supper and a thousand flies crawl in bed with you if ya don’t buy me a drink to slay me thirst!” So, I bought him a drink with the only money I had on me. But nothing lasts forever not even Phyllis. He caught syphillis and then it had no cure. You could see him from a mile off scratching his vitals and swearing really loud. He had caught it from a local prostitute, I tell ya, called Ellis. He died from it and was buried in the small town of Yennis. On his tombstone was carved a picture of him scratching his privates. In honour of Phyliis, I always raise my glass in a toast.

“To a no-gooder, Phyllis!”

You see, Siff had a carpet named Fred,

He was stepped on and then he was dead.

He was buried in manure, then he slipped down the sewer,

and now he looks like a piece of rye bread.

I guess that was more about Fred then Mr. Phyllis.

Mr Phyllis is a very infectious person. In fact if you ever run into him you’ll be very sorry because he will leave you with nasty sores. While he sounds like an intriguing person, you should stay as far away from him as you can.

We knew a young fellow named Phyllis

who would say: “whatchoo talkin’ bout Willis?”

…when we uttered his name.

But his folks were to blame

None the less he still threatened to kill us.

Phyllis was the half-brother of Shirl,

who was bitter and mad at the world,

like the “boy named Sue”

he was angry as poo,

that his father named him after a girl.

*thinks* …. wow. this is possibly the worst, most un-funny limerick i’ve ever written! LOL♥

oh and, in case you didn’t know…. “a boy named sue” is a song by Johnny Cash……. lol

If we teased him he tried to kill us.

So we finally just quit. Turned away and just split.

Cause he was 6’7″ and we were smaller and he was on the boxing team and , well…….. That about covers it.

P.S. What the HELL did I just write??!! hahaha