I had gotten lost walking in the woods when suddenly, I saw a Neanderthal! One would think that a Neanderthal would be massive, stupid, and mean. However, this Neanderthal, though massive, startled me with his copasetic English and gregarious demeanor. I asked him where the closest road was and he told me to head toward the yonder mountain, turn left, walk up a hill, turn left, walk down the hill, turn left and I would be there. The directions obfuscated me; I asked why I couldn’t just turn right. Nevertheless, the Neanderthal was obstinate that I had to make three lefts. He said his king had given him the directions, and he was never wrong because he knew everything. I told the Neanderthal that he was only postulating; nobody could know everything. The Neanderthal felt a lot of fealty toward his king, though, and was very aggitated with my statement. He through himself on the ground, causing a crash of seismic proportions. I watched his cry for a few moments, turned around, and headed to the yonder mountain.

I walked over yonder and met a neanderthal. He had the demeanor of a mule. I postulate that he has lived by himself in the woods his entire life. He was massive in size. With every step, he created seismic waves. He was very ugly. I hope he is obstinate because the world does not need another beast that looks like him. I greeted him in a copesetic manner. My friendly greeting obfuscated him. People are generally really cold to him.

This is a crappy paragraph, but you could make it work if you tweak it.