2) Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all of her supporters “I would like to thank the California Wine and Spirits Distillers and Distributors for all of your kind donations. I will use your products sensibly and responsibly and this truckload should last me a week!”

3) Bulletin!!!! “It has been determined that hanging out with Britney or Paris may be dangerous to your legal health and the status of your on-going child custody dispute.”

4) I just spotted Elvis in “shock over the goings on of his daughter over the last 20 years. He was in a monastery and just now got the updates on the whole marriage to Michael Jackson, etc.”

2. Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: Let’s party at the jail from now on. It’ll save time.

3. BULLETIN!!! Ignore what I’m about to write. What? Did you keep reading? I thought I told you to stop? Look, if I give you $5 will you stop reading this? You will? Good. Tell Sunshine to give you the $5 she owes me.

4. I just spotted Elvis in yellow polka dots. Then he woke up and took my brush away.

If I get any thinner, I’ll be indistiguishable from my tapeworm.

Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: Does anyone have a videocamera I can borrow for a couple hours tonight?

Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: Yes, it’s true–I’m naturally blonde!

BULLETIN!!! President Bush’s recent visit to the Mayo Clinic has resulted in an amazing discovery: The Chief of Radiology confirmed after reviewing the President’s MRI that, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, he does actually have a brain.

BULLETIN!!! The latest reality TV show will be all about the common person’s daily grind: Wake up early, go to work and or school, come home tired, fix dinner, take care of the housework/bills/kids, go to bed, repeat next day. The title of this thoroughly intriguing piece of cerebral malaise will be “DejaVu, All Over Again”.

I just spotted Elvis in my girlfriend’s bra and panties; fortunately, it was the young thin Elvis, not the old fat Elvis.

I just spotted Elvis in the Lowe’s plumbing department–he was in a hurry–mumbled something about needing a new toilet.

2) Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters:life is no biggie so drink up!

3) BULLETIN!!!; today is international I don’t give a what day!

4) I just spotted Elvis in japan wearing a Micheal Jackson jacket!

Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: “Nice try, but I’m out of jail, now!”

Bulletin!!!! The Stock Market reports that Umbrellas are down, and Anchor sales are up!

I just spotted Elvis in Reno. I guess Las Vegas was full.

2. Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: No I wasn’t the ding dong Elvis was spotted eating.

3. BULLETIN: Tomorrow has been cancelled due to lack of interest!

4. I just spotted Elvis in Vegas eating a ding-dong.

2) Paris Hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: “GIT SHER HAN’S OFF ME!!! I CUHN STAN’ PERFEC’LY BY MYSHELF!!!”

3) BULLETIN!!!

The following just in from Hollywood:

Reliable sources report that Paris Hilton is standing outside a nightclub with no visible means of support!!!

4) I just spotted Elvis in my kitchen making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He was suffering from amnesia, so I reminded him that he was dead and I ate the sandwich instead.

Sorry, I disabled fans because I go to areas on here where people use that to get accounts deleted. I need to be spending a lot less time on here anyway.

2) paris hilton would like to send a message to all her supporters: if she had any!

3) bulletin!!! baby boy born with out eye lids, doctors surgically removed forskin from baby’s penis to make eye lids was a success, but he may be a little c–k eyed later on.

4) I just spotted elvis with permanent ink, they won’t come off.

2. Stay drunk and party hard. thats hot.

3. My co worker has flesh eating monkey’s in her underwear.

4. Mini cooper.