Camp Winnidolockie, Upstate New York

Present Day

“Isn’t It Good, Norwegian Wood”

Silva Saperstein and her two friends, Gloria DeHaverchuck and Sunshine MacGillicutty had decided to get away from it all and reconnect with Mother Nature and with each other.

They had all met as Freshman at Byrn Mawr while pledging the only Norwegian sorority on campus……..

Uff Da Skrei.

Silva threw another log on the fire and stared into the flames.

Gloria …..”Hey, Silva. Have you ditched that idiot of a boyfriend of yours, yet?” Silva nodded. “Good. (4) I pity the first person who decides to hook up with him. I mean …. ugggh!” She turned to Sunshine……” The guy actually wanted to score some of her blood and wear it in a vial around his neck.”

Sunshine rolled her eyes as Silva rolled her sweater down, covering the bandaid on her left arm.

“3) Handsome men always counter-balance their good looks with outrageous behavior,” remarked Silva.

Sunshine grabbed her guitar and said, “Well……. SOME handsome men are juuuuuuuuuust perfect!”

“Oh, GOD!!! She’s going to sing another ode to U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon !!”

Sunshine smiled and nodded her head:

♫ You can have your home where the buffalo roam. You can drink your whiskey and gin.

You can take the stars right out of the sky but don’t you dare mess with my man.

He’s my sun. He’s my moon. He’s my dear buckaroo. He’s the dearest love I’ll ever know.

He’s my Dillon who’s willin’ to stand by my side.

So you best move along or you’ll surely die.♫ ”

Silva:”Or you’ll surely……. d i ??” (Said with a thick Southern accent)

Sunshine:”I did NOT say, d i !!”

Silva laughed as she took another gulp of her Merlot.

Suddenly there was a rustling in some nearby bushes.

Gloria said, “(5) It looks like a yellow bellied sapsucker to me!”

Sunshine looked at Gloria with a puzzled stare as she grabbed her trusty Winchester.

Silva glanced nonchalantly as she knocked off another bottle of wine…..(2) Was that a growl …or…could it be…………”

Sunshine ****** her rifle…….”Hva heter du?”

Silva:”Oh for GOD’S sake. Knock off the Norse and speak English you dumb hillbilly!”

A voice could be heard from the dark….” Olaf, ya sure! Jeg snakker bare litt norsk. ”

Silva :”What the HELL……Are we being stalked by a Norwegian ?!!”

Sunshine hushed her as the dialogue continued:

” Jeg beklager, jeg snakker ikke engelsk.” said the voice in the woods.

“Dessverre snakker jeg bare litt norsk.” replied Sunshine.

“Det er helt i orden. Jeg forstår hva du sier.” the man said in a happy voice, as he walked away.

Silva and Gloria stared at Sunshine.

Silva:”WELL?!! What was THAT all about?! And by the way….How on EARTH did you remember the Norse language after all these years.”

Sunshine:”Hey!! While you were trying to date every member of the hockey team, I◄ was studying!”

Silva pursed her lips…”SHE was studying !!!!”

“Sunny…..What did the weird man in the woods want?” asked Gloira as (1) She crept into her sleeping bag.

Sunshine put her rifle down and cracked her knuckles……

“He wanted to know if he could take some of the logs from the stack by the creek.”

Silva stretched her arms…..

“Ahhhh yes…. Isn’t it good………….Norwegian wood.”

.

She crept into the unfamiliar building not realizing what to expect. It was dark and the place seemed to have a certain reek to it. as she felt thru the darkness, she felt the furriness of something. In response …Was that a growl …or could it be? She always felt that handsome men always had their quirks and she had pity for the first person who would try to put her in a situation like this. After all this was the address she had received on her text message. She went back out to the lighter darkness only to realize that the yellowbellied sapsucker was no more than the evil yellow skinned pit bull he had raised as a killer.

“IT LOOKS LIKE A YELLOW BELLIED SAPSUCKER TO ME!”, Joan whispered excitedly.

“Are you sure?”, Jim asked covering a wide yawn. He was bored almost out of his mind with this bird watching. Joan was a real beauty but he was beginning to rethink his reasons for agreeing to this little exercise. He’d rather be making out on a blanket beside that little stream they had passed earlier. Oh, well. Thus goes the way of best laid plans.

“Of course I’m fairly sure,” she whispered back at him. “I just need to get a little closer,” she added as SHE CREPT INTO the thicket to get a better look.

“WAS THAT A GROWL…OR….COULD IT BE just my stomach telling me to feed it?”, he asked hoping to get her back to that little stream and the picnic basket in the car.

“Look, If you’re so bored and hungry, why don’t you go back to the car and wait for me?!”, Joan retorted running out of patience.

“Well, Thanks for your permission!”, he snapped back. “I think I’ll do just that! I PITY THE FIRST PERSON WHO takes a serious interest in you if he’s not covered in feathers and bird lice!” With that, he stomped off making as much noise as he could.

Joan rolled her eyes heavenward. “Handsome men!”, she breathed. HANDSOME MEN ALWAYS thought a girl should have no interest in anything other than them and be thankful they even wanted to spend time with you. Well, she was an indendent thinker who happened to have a brain that was capable of thinking about other things and interests other than men. If he was interested in her as a person, he’d come around eventually and if not? What had she lost?

I love the things you come up with Silva. These days I am much too involved in real life to sit in front of my computer to create the stories I used to write, but I love to see you going on a roll.

Cheers,

T.

why couldn’t I? There just phrases. You can copyright a book not a phrase.