#3…. OOPS! I did it again….Can you write an amusing little story that includes these phrases?
1. We apologized to everyone at the Bar Mitzvah .
2. By transportation I assume you mean limo.
3. I like your soulful energy.
4. Well, we seem to have run out of gas near…….NOTHING!!
5. Yeah. A couple of real masterminds.
6. The man is a raving lunatic …….. And I say this with all due respect.
BONUS PHRASE: We’re just like Mary and Rhoda…….And I’m Mary, of course!!
Favorite Answer
“Well, something has to be done. Your aunt fainted in the Rabbi’s arms and they collapsed into the salad table. He’s still picking Feta cheese and spinich out of his beard. Whatever happened to your sister, just fix it. I know you, Mary. You caused all this!”
“I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it.” It seemed easier to accept the blame than to explain the whole story. I glanced at Rhoda. Her blazing wreath of electric hair crackled and hissed as she said, “It’s your fault. You said your professor’s machine could straigthen my hair.”
“We’ll go talk to Professor Wisenstein. He can fix it. He’s a genius in both galvanism and hair care. I can’t imagine what went wrong. I followed his instruction exactly. Let’s find some transportation to run us out to his house.”
“By transportation I assume you mean limo.” My sister nodded toward the nearest vehicle. Rhoda always had a sense of style, whatever the circumstances.
“Sure. Let’s go ask.” We approached one of the hired drivers and offered a twenty. “I like your soulful energy,” he said, glancing at my sister’s electrically vibrating head of hair, through which waves of cobalt, cerulean and indigo ran, “but I was hired just for the event.” Another twenty altered his opinion.
Our course took us out of town and into the forested hills of Vermont. At the crest of one hill, we glimpsed what were the ancient peaks of a true 17th century gabled Vermont landmark, the home of my employer. As the car dipped down into the valley the engine choked and staggered to a stop. “I told you, lady, I was just hired for the afternoon. I can walk back to the nearest gas station for another twenty.” This was turning into a profitable afternoon for the man. I handed him the money.
“Well, we seem to have run out of gas near……NOTHING!”, Rhoda snapped. The current seemingly embedded in her hair had done nothing to improve her temper. She set her hand against my wrist and zapped me with at least 120 volts.
“I didn’t want to use the machine.” I edged farther away on the seat. “You insisted, you know.”
“Well, you could have said ‘no’ longer. A couple of real masterminds. That’s us.” The crackling static of her hair increased with her annoyance and made it difficult to hear her words.
“We can walk to the laboratory. It’s only a quarter of a mile. I know the Professor can fix this.” We set out and in a short time approached the house. Grass and weeds growing abundantly showed a recent lack of care in the grounds. I rang the bell. Nothing happened and I tried the knob. The door opened slowly. “Let’s go down to the basement. That’s where the Professor keeps his equipment. He’s probably there.”
At the bottom of a series of ancient stone steps we found a heavy oak door which we were both forced to push against to open. Inside there were revealed rows of tables, equipment and scientific paraphenalia. At one corner of the room a man sat amidst a seeming woven nest of copper wires which hung down from the ceiling. He seemed to be working frantically.
“The man is a raving lunatic….. And I say this with due respect. So why did you use his machine on my hair?!” Rhoda glared at me, her eyes, literally, shooting sparks. I hastened forward and caught the Professor’s eye.
“Alex, Professor Wisenstein, I have a small problem here. I used your hair straightening machine on my sister and it’s had rather unexpected results.” His wrinkled face broke into a broad smile.
“Ah, it is as I expected and you came just in time. Bring her here. In this chair.” He hurried my electrically charged sister to the very spot he had recently occupied and sat her down. A stange phenomenon occured as each statically glowing hair on her head rose and twisted in a seeming magnetic storm among the hanging copper wires. Each wire and each hair seemed to connect, forming a single pulsing, glowing sheath of power. Rhoda’s face grew pale, but her expression slowly relaxed. A giant machine nearby began to throb as the professor threw switches and pushed buttons. I gazed with interest as he threw one large switch which opened a panel in the wall. Two figures stood there. the silver metal figures of women, who’s hair stood up in an electric swirling current of flame.
The professor typed in a series of commands on a keyboard and my sister collapsed into unconciousness in her chair. Another switch was flipped and the hair of the two female robotic figures dropped down onto their shoulders. Their eyes opened. They stepped forward into the room. One walked toward me and dropped her hand on my shoulder. The metal of her skin seemed as supple as a humans. “Hello. We’re just like Mary and Rhoda…. And I’m Mary, of course!!”
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