If you can even think that with a straight face, then you are simply preferring one subculture to another.

Cultures and subcultures are neither good nor bad in themselves. They allow us to deal with other members of society in a way that reduces misunderstandings, and most of the time, that’s a good thing.

Many of those who rebel against the societal norms do not understand the function of those norms. Others are making a deliberate decision to rebel against them, and choosing to show a lack of respect for those who do not.

For example, the way a person dresses or acts is a visible declaration of how that person wants society to view them. It is a deliberate choice, and so it is a bit disingenuous to make that kind of personal declaration, then expect others to ignore it.

Your example of the “Goth” subculture is a good one. These folks are making a deliberate, personal statement that they reject the values and customs of the majority.

OK, that’s fine, but arguing that the majority should accept and embrace their values and customs, while they reject ours is more than just a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?

The one thing that I would urge you to do is to make a deliberate decision regarding whether or not you conform to any particular set of cultural norms. Some you will probably accept as good (often without even realizing that you have done so).

Some will be more neutral, meaning that while you may not care one way or the other, accepting them will make your interactions with others go more smoothly, hence making your life and theirs more pleasant. This seems a laudable goal.

(When I spent time in the Middle East, I learned not to hand people things with my left hand. It made no difference to me which hand I used, but their society considered it impolite, so I made a point of using my right hand. It cost me nothing to do so, but made personal interactions go more smoothly and showed that I held respect for the other person.)

Others you may make the deliberate decision to reject. Perhaps racism is a cultural norm in your town, and you find it to be unacceptable. Good. Reject it.

But remember that rejecting a cultural norm comes with a price that must be paid, because in doing so, you are rejecting those people who agree with that norm, and those people are likely to take offense.

Like it or not, you are one member of a society, and unless you decide to live on a deserted patch of desert somewhere, you are dependent on that society for a great deal of your personal welfare. Much of this dependence is so commonplace that it goes unnoticed, but it is still quite real.

So you may want to avoid simply rebelling against “conformity”. Change that to a rebellion against “unthinking conformity” by making deliberate decisions about which parts of society you agree with, which parts are simply ways of living comfortably with others, and which parts you find so repugnant that you refuse to accept them.

Then save your rebellion for that last batch, and perform that rebellion in ways that will be effective, and has a reasonable chance of gaining the acceptance of others, hence changing that society and culture in a positive way.

By the way, did you receive a private message I sent to you some time ago, addressing other questions or issues that you raised? I don’t think I kept a copy of it and I can’t even recall what words of wisdom I sent, but I hope they helped. 🙂

Please try not to worry yourself into an ulcer! Life is short. At some point, you will reach a time where you will realize that you need to enjoy it more and not spend so much time on that exercise wheel in your cage in the rat race. Right now, I am aware of the night sounds and how peaceful it is. Take a few minutes to center yourself and become aware of your own breathing.

I remember…I sent you a copy of “Desiderata.” Did you receive it? Worth the read.