I went to college with a 15-year-old freshman who had quite the social life, and eventually got a PhD from Yale. But then I knew some 18 or 19 year olds who were just not emotionally ready for college, and they flunked or dropped out. Every student is different, but the older ones do tend to be more successful.

When I read your paragraph, I looked for a clue about what your parents see or hear that tells them you are not ready. Here’s a good one:

“I’m not learning anything at home now.”

College is very different from both high school and home school. Very little of your day is actually spent in class. For every hour in class, you can expect to study for two hours on your own, if you want to make an A. In the meantime, there are plenty of things to do to distract you from studying: free classic and foreign films, parties, varsity and intramural sports, working out, expeditions to hike or go white water rafting, or just hanging out with friends.

There are high school valedictorians who flunk out of their freshman year, because they no longer have parents or teachers asking them every day, “Where are you on your research paper?” College students are expected to be independent learners who structure their own time and plan ahead.

When you write, “I’m not learning anything at home now,” I picture you sitting back and waiting for someone to hand you some knowledge. It doesn’t work that way. Every learner has to build their own knowledge. And that’s going to go a whole lot easier when you take personal responsibility for your own education. Otherwise, your teachers and parents feel like they’re pushing a rope when they try to teach you.

Some kids are self-directed learners from elementary school. Some folks go off to college without taking personal responsibility for their own education. There are some teachers, approaches to education, and activities that encourage students to be self-directed learners, but it eventually comes down to a personal decision on the part of the learner.

If student loans–which you personally will be obliged to pay back–are part of the plan that will pay for your college, your parents are doing you a favor by not sending you until you’re ready. I graduated from college nearly twenty years ago, but I’m still paying for it, every month.

Is there anywhere nearby where you could take a few college courses? Perhaps if you show your parents that you can handle the academic work now they will be more likely to let you transfer to a school further from home. Your other option is to look for online courses (from reputable brick and mortar schools only), but I think your parents will have more confidence in your ability to handle the college environment if you spend some time interacting with students, even for just one or two classes. Also, investigate schools and housing options. If you could get onto a quiet floor, honors dorm, or a similar situation they may be more likely to let you live there. Spend this year investigating your options and pick up some college credits if you can. Apply for scholarships. As several people have told you, if you can find a way to finance your education your parents will not be able to keep you from going once you are 18. The best way to convince your parents to let you go is to demonstrate that you can make well reasoned decisions and compile a rational, well researched argument. Doing all of those things should make the next year go much more quickly and get you what you want. Good Luck!

Most colleges do not allow overnight opposite sex visitors so you would probably be breaking a rule of his dorm. That aside it really doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong because you’re a minor and you live with your parents and you have to listen to them unless you want to get kicked out. If I were you I would accept their judgment with respect which will show them that you are mature enough and hopefully let you go next time. Until then just demonstrate that you are mature enough to be allowed to go on a trip like this. i.e. pick up after yourself without being asked, and don’t bug your parents when you don’t have to. Hopefully once they see that you’re maturing they’ll give you more responsibility. Honestly though your boyfriend probably needs some time away from his family and high school friends to get situated in college, so maybe this is for the best for now. Good luck 🙂

You can’t do anything.

However, they can’t hold you until you are 19. If you are 18, and can pay for it, you can leave, regardless of what they want. I know that does no good for you now, but that is a year less of a wait.

If you’re looking for magic words to convince them, well, you know your parents, so only you could come up with those. Some tactics you may use though are guilt trips, make them feel outdated (like every other kid your age goes to college, etc, etc.), and you can use the whole “you don’t love me” thing, but that won’t work with most parents, especially at your age.

As far as a 16 year old to be with 18-22 year olds, I believe that is illegal, (if they are meaning intimate relationships), and unusual for friendships. Take my word for this, 18-22 year olds do not want to hang out with 16 year olds. Well, maybe 18-year olds do, so you’d probably hang out with the rest of the freshmen, which is usually how it goes, especially in big colleges. Maybe explaining that note to your parents would help. But you shouldn’t hang out with 22 year olds, and I don’t know you, but I can probably infer that you are not as mature as you seem to think. Stick to your age group.

I hope the best for you. If you use the right words, you can convince them, the only problem is finding what the words are.

Don’t convince them, just do it. Take your SATs, apply to places you want to go and that you can afford on your own, fill out a FAFSA as an independent student and do it on your own. Don’t ever let people tell you what you should do with the rest of your life, even your parents. Besides, if you do well in school they’ll probably end up being more proud of you than mad at you. I was 17 when I started college, and most of the people that you’re going to be around (in classes at least) are usually the same age as you +/- a year or so. Good Luck!

They are being somewhat overprotective and don’t want to let go, but that is just my opinion. If you are an only child, it is that much harder as well. the “empty nest syndrome” I think is something parents dread. I guess I faced guilt because of it when I went to college because my dad died right after I started HS and being an only child, me going away to school would mean that my mom would be home by herself all the time.

Anyway, ask them if they are looking out for your best interests or theirs? Also, if it is possible that you raise your own money for the first year (however you may do that, whether it be through working, scholarships/financial aid, etc) that may convince them to let you go as well. Have you told them outright how you feel and what you posted here? That is a good place to start if you haven’t already.

Sit down with them and calmly explain your side of the story. Answer there questions truthfully and accurately. Offer them one good compromise, instead of 19 how about 18. You will be an adult then, can vote, can drive, can enlist in the military, etc. Just say if you are an adult and can make all those decisions yourself, you can decide to go to college.

Also, I have a question if I was your father. Do you want to go to college to get an education or do you want to go to college to be with your boy friend? If the first is the answer, then suggest a school on the other side of the country from where he is going to go. If the second answer is right, I would argue against you going.

Find a college that’s very conservative, all-girls, possibly religious and convince your parents to let you go there.

if you want to go so bad then you should fund your own education and then leave at your own will.

your parents won’t like the idea of you leaving the house

but they can’t stop you its your life and I personally hate feeling smothered.

the choice is up to you.

don’t miss out on life because of your parents. you’ll regret it later.

There is nothing you can do until you are 18.