In my experience in my own life and watching my peers (and now the students which I advise), I have noticed that students achieve the most success in the endeavors they decide for themselves.

When I was in high school there was no question whether or not I was going to college, my parents began my college-hunting even before my freshman year. I was so pressured throughout middle and high school to get the grades to go college, that by the time I got there I was burned out and totally done with the idea of school. My first year was terrible, I had a hard time adjusting to the lifestyle and my grades fell so that I almost lost my aid. It was then that I was faced with the decision: regardless of what my parents want, is this what I want?

Many students say no at this point and never complete their degree. Still others say no at this time but come back later and finish their degree, sometimes extraordinarily well. I decided that it was what I wanted. I took summer and winter classes to catch up and ended up graduating in four years with all my classmates and now am working at a college and am thinking of graduate school in the future.

A student is a lot like a cat. If you put food or a toy in front of him, he’ll ignore it. But if you put the food where he can “accidentally” stumble upon it himself, or dangle the toy just out of reach so he has to catch it, then all of the sudden he is interested. If a student is going to school ONLY because of parental or societal pressures (this is actually more often societal pressure, “you won’t get a job unless you…”) then he or she will not do well because there is no personal investment.

Once a student decides what they want, it is amazing what they can achieve. If your daughter is really passionate about law, then it is possible she will apply herself – and applying herself is all she needs to do to succeed.

If you are worried about paying her way just to have her fail or loose interest, money is also a powerful motivator. Many parents tell their students they are responsible in full for their education while others pay in full, but their is a middle road. Even if you work out a compromise with your daughter that has her paying some of the expenses, she will feel the effect in her wallet which will show her the importance of keeping her grades up.

Time is the best revealer in these situations. If she really starts getting deep into the researching of law schools and begins to get bored, you know the dream is just a phase and she may need to find a more practical plan. But if she tries to prove to you and her advisors again and again that she is capable of doing this, she may be for real, in which case she will need your support, but also your firm hand, to succeed.

25 is definitly not too old, it average if not a little on the young side…but her advisors are right that she should stick to a state school. When you think about it, a state law school will be just as good as any other because laws are laws…and aside from that, many professors you will find in a state school were educated at “name” schools. I know many of my undergrad professors went to big name schools and preferred to teach at a state university because they were able to have more contact with thier students..It’s great that she is so excited but she still has to look at the situation realistically…law school is very expensive, even at a state level. Harvard and Yale, if she even was accepted, would be ridiculously expensive. She should try it out at a state school and make sure that’s what she wants…law students usually don’t get to have much of a life outside of studying.

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she might do better than anyone expected. maybe she needed this path to build her confidence and see that she is capable. i wouldnt shut any doors on her yet. let her try and see where it leads. i think she is courageous to even think of the possibility. some of the greatest leaders of our time believed in themselves against all odds and changed things for the better. sounds like your daughter needed to learn some tough lessons on her path, but the past has no bearing on one’s future if we dont let it.

i know it is hard as a mother to let children go and follow their heart, but you might be pleasantly surprised. if she gets into the school she wants, she’ll want you there to celebrate with her; if she doesnt, she’ll need you there to support her as she redefines her dream and direction.

my hat is off to your daughter… believing in ourselves is often the hardest thing, and she has done it for herself. bravo!