A few days ago

can u help me refine these sentences please ?

I have always aspired to choose a career that would mean work that really stimulates me and holds a natural appeal for me. The first and the simplest emotion that we discover in human mind is curiosity. My curiosity in Mechanical Engineering was evoked in the earlier stages of my life when my uncle presented me a ‘Meccano’ set. Although initially, I could not comprehend the basic principles underlying what I was assembling, the whole setup of the model construction fascinated me. As I kept myself glued to Meccano all through my schooling, I realized they were more than just toys and could see the basic mechanical principles in action, which prompted me to participate in many science exhibitions and further engrossed my interest in the field of Mechanical Engineering and also for selecting it as my major in my undergraduate studies.

Top 2 Answers
A few days ago

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Strunk and White: omit needless words.

Delete your first two sentences and launch into Mechanical Engineering.

When I was eight, my uncle George bought me a Meccano set for my birthday. At first all the parts, instructions, motors and gizmos made no sense. What was I supposed to do with this? Well, at least it wasn’t socks.

But I persevered. I unfurled the instructions (some were in Japanese), layed out the parts and started with the sub-assemblies, which grew into working models of draw bridges, cranes and a motor-driven truck. By the end of the month I’d built every combination of toy listed in the plans–and a few of my own design, including a [insert here]. Each one sparked my imagination to build the next.

And that’s how I got here. That innocent-looking toy propelled me to fix bikes, tinker with the lawn mower with my dad in the garage and rebuild the engine in shop class.

In ten years, I see my self as a college graduate on my way to design aerospace components or inventing more energy-efficient and greener motors. And I’m sure my uncle will be there cheering me on.

[Obviously, you want to insert your own experience. Your essay flies at 100,000 feet; fly lower. Get to the specifics of what happen to YOU]


Anyone who’s smart enough to become an ME will be able to figure this out. Best of luck!


5 years ago
Two of my strengths work together, communication and leadership skills. I was Leader of one of the houses in my school, led the marching contingent, organized cultural meets and coordinated induction programs for the new college entrants. I’ve actively participated and volunteered in many blood donation camps organized by the Indian Red Cross Society (Andrhra Pradesh state branch) and received a certificate of appreciation from the governor of the state of Andhra Pradesh, India for my services. my note: I took out some of the “I’s”. You may need to “tweak” it to your liking still.