Circa 1876

Festus was sharing a table with Matt and Doc at the Long Branch.

Festus:” And I’m here to tell you….” He took another swallow of beer. ” …….That I learned more from huntin’ with my pappy than I could EVER have learned in school.” He went on and on , describing the many things he had been taught. Doc finally had enough……….

Doc:”(2.) Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothing when your mouth’s a-jawin’….And I cannot IMAGINE you ever being quiet long enough for even your PAPPY to have gotten any words in!”

Festus:”Now there you go. Always a jabbin’ and a dabbin’ at me….Ya old scutter!!” As he got up to leave he turned to Doc and said:”You are the biggest troublemaker I have ever saw!!”

Doc, to Matt…….” My GOD he has the worse English I have ever HEARED !! ….. Festus…..I was going to say that (1.) The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. The trouble is….I don’t think you ever shave!”

Festus:”That’s it!! ” And he left.

A few minutes later, in walked John Elton ,one of the most affluent ranchers in the area: http://home.ewr-online.de/~ruhrig/rockenrollheros/john_elton.JPG

John:” Hey! Lawman. Jest thought I’d tell you. I drink hard and play hard….I do exactly what I want.”

Matt stood up:”That a fact.”

John: ” I thought you should know right now that I don’t cotton to any Yayoo that wears a badge. So I suggest you git yourself lost for the time I’m in Dodge.” He turned and ordered a beer.

Matt:” Mister….(3.) Tellin’ a man to git lost and makin’ him do it are two entirely different propositions. And to quote the man I owe everything to (John”Duke”Wayne) ….(4.) Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much.’ ”

John took a swing at Matt. He missed. Matt swung back….He didn’t,

http://www.iz-us.com/images/2004-08-23,%20fight%20night/fight_night12.jpg

John:”Dillon! The next time you see me I’m gonna kill you!”

Just then Mrs. Elton stormed into the Long Branch. She grabbed him by the ear and led him out.

Matt sat back down at the table .

Doc:” Good thing she showed up!”

Matt:” Yeah…..(5.)Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town. She keeps pretty close tabs on him.”He got up and looked at Doc…………Speaking of tabs…..Mind picking this one up, Doc old buddy?”

Go for it SunshineMattbaby- she can do it. She’s good.