Grammar and spelling each need a lot of work. The idea is there, but it needs a lot of work. I may have begun with something like “The freezing wind swept between the white-covered mountains and across the ice and snow covered lake, slowing only as if to look at the shattered remnants of the plane and at the young man who had been its pilot, now lying unconscious on the carpet of snow. Then, uncaring, it swept on between the far mountains and continued on its endless journey.” And that is the whole first paragraph. The scene has been set and the mood is still neutral or close to it. Let the cage concept come in later, when he has recovered consciousness. Let there be a contrast between the wind blowing freely through the mountains and the pilot.

If I understand your question, you want to know how your introduction is. You did not ask for any help writing it. So here is my answer:

It stinks, and you’d better get some help–quick! I’ve graded a lot of these things, and I’d just toss what you have written after GENEROUSLY reading 2 lines. Get help!

Try shortening your sentences. The first is way too long. Work on your subject-predicate agreement. Personally, I think you repeat too many words. “mountains” “white”. Work on using possessives correctly. And work on your spelling, especially nouns used as adjectives.

Overall, I’d give it a D+ if I were grading it.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/esl/eslsubverb.html

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/possessives.htm

http://www.ccc.commnet.edu/sensen/part2/nine/index.html

http://thesaurus.reference.com/features/howtousethesaurus.html

http://www.yourdictionary.com/