A few days ago

Whats the best most professional way to talk to a parent about his/her child……..?

This particular child: doesn’t remain in his seat, talks without permission, doesn’t follow directions, fails alot of things, DOES NOT keep hands to self (has had two children in tears!!!!) This is a first grader!! Help! Parent-teacher conferences are coming up!

Top 4 Answers
A few days ago

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First of all, when talking to the parents make sure you do not come off as blaming them! All of the behaviors you listed are very age-appropriate. MOST first graders act differently at home than they do at school, so this behavior may be a surprise to them. Most first graders are very active. They test the same boundaries over and over. These are all developmental characteristics of 6 and 7 year olds. Explain this to them, and make sure that THEY know that this behavior is normal, it is just the frequency of the behaviors that is the problem. Offer to help them, by working together he will learn that he cannot get away with things at school that are inapropriate at home. One way for you to try to help him yourself would be to set up a chart where you would put a check mark each time he interrupted a lesson. You could could do this for a whole day, or just for an hour. The important next step in the process would be to talk to him after school and set a goal for the next day, write a note to the parents (that they have to sign) telling them how many checks he got today, and what the goal is for tomorrow. That wya they can incorrage him at home. Make it an easy goal. For example, if he interrupted 25 times in 1 hour, ask if he thinks he can keep it down to 23 times the next day. He will feel motivated by how easy that goal is, and he will probably interrupt even less. It is important to set up a partnership with the parent’s so that you all feel like you’re on the same team.

Keep resetting the goal each day until the number is where you want it. This tactic is very philosophically different from on-the-spot rewards and punishments. It empowers the child to make the change with no immediate reinforcement either way. The problem with immediate punishment is that unless it is given every single time he does something against the rules (and no teacher of a class larger than 2 notices everything), it actually perpetuates the behavior.

Another thing you need to consider is if he is being challanged enough. Many children will fail in their current grade level if they are above the leval acidimicly because of boredom. Does he have ample time to run and play? Are lessons active, or do they do mostly seatwork?

Good luck! First grade energy is a blessing, not a curse!


A few days ago
Try to say something positive about the child. Maybe he has alot of energy. You could say “Tommy is a very energetic boy, and sometimes that interferes with his behavior in the classroom.” Or some similar thing. Maybe the child is very intelligent or enjoys the attention of others. If you still can’t put a positive spin on it, ask your principal or department head for direction. Parents get very touchy when their kids are criticized but it sounds like this child is interfering with other childrens’ learning experiences. If I was a parent of the 2 other children he had in tears I would be very upset. Something needs to be done. Can you make a referral to the school psychologist or nurse? Most likely talking to the parents will give you an insight into his home life (for example maybe the parents will admit they work long hours and the child doesn’t get much attention at home). You may end up not surprised that the kid is the way he is. However, it is imperative that you protect the rights of the other children to get an education. This sounds like you need backup from your department head or principal to find a plan for this child.

A few days ago
tell them what they need to know. say that he lacks focus and list (i.e. doesn’t follow directions, fails things- have the school work to back it up) that he is not disciplined in the aspect that he needs to follow the classroom rules (getting up from seat, talking w/out permission) also that he bothers some of the other children (has them in tears).

if there is anything that he does well, such as artwork, or reading, start with the positive and follow up with the negative. granted he may have more neg. than good, but the parents need to know so you can have order restored to your classroom. best to be honest, but try to positive at the same time. ask his parents how he reacts when they ask him about school, tell them you want to be pro-active to nip this in the bud, since it is early in the year, and you need their support and help.

It’s sad when there are issues so early because it could mean he’s lacking something at home- attention, his parent’s help and time, patience, etc. one other tip, try and pay attention to his lunches- food he eats can affect behavior. if you see it’s all processed or sugary foods, you can bet that can be where some of the lack of focus comes from. or if he is one of the young kids in class, he may be too far ahead. talk to his kindergarten teacher to get some insight from her too. Good luck!!


A few days ago
You start off by saying something positive. Then you address the problem at hand. Then you finally end it with something else positive.