This looks like a complete rewrite.

I understand that English is your second language, but you must need to be profictant in it for some reason, which is why you are doing this essay.

I think you need to work on it your self.

Before I came to America, my grandmother told me that life in the US would be extremely hard for me. She said “you will need an arduous effort to be able to overcome obstacles.” I think it is very true. For someone who does not know about the culture, life and language, it takes a lot of courage just to come to another country to live.

I am such an international student. That is what makes me unique. I am from Vietnam. In an American’s eyes, my appeal, my action, my verbal skills, and my eating habits are very different. I am proud of my culture and my traditions. The more I have been here, the more I recognize how valuable my culture is. It is unique and special because it separates me from the others. It not only tells about me but also tells stories about the place I grow up, about my country’s customs, and about how people are in my country.

Since I grew up in Vietnam, I have background knowledge in herbalist practice. In my childhood, my house was in an area filled with wilderness. There are only few houses on a row. My grand mother used to grow a lot of herbs and vegetables on the vacant plot land next to my house. She taught me along with her maid about using herbs for healthcare. I grew in love with herbalist since that time. I have always wanted to work for a natural skincare company after I graduate because I want to employ my knowledge in herbalist with my biology major to change the way people look and think about skincare and cosmetics.

I love Hamline for the school environment. It is a small school, small classroom, and very friendly people and even has an international association. As an international student, I think those elements are very important for me.

My cousin did not really support the idea since my English is not great. My mother pointed out that I will have a lot of matters with biology major since there will be a lot of science terms. However, I believe that if I love a major, no matter how hard it will be I can always pass it.

I used to do some volunteer work while I was in high school. I cannot say which one I like the best and which one I like the least because I enjoyed all of them. Each individual activity brought me a different experience.

I do have a profound memory about one:

My uncle has a charity organization. Older people often gather there to study English, practice meditation and Tai- Chi. Once the association had a volunteer cooking for breakfast and lunch. All the profit of the meals were to be sent to the orphanage house. I supported that idea because I love to cook and to help people. I think it is a great chance for me to meet with others and to improve my cooking skills. I only knew some simple dishes at the time. My aunt and a lot of ladies in that organization helped me to learn a lot about cooking. They were tough on me if I worked slow and made mistakes. That hurt my pride a little but I slowly realized that they only wanted the best for me. After three months, my skills improved and I was able to cook by myself!

I only went to college for one month. I did not discover what my strengths were. I would like to improve in social and verbal skills. By graduation, I want to be know more and have more friends. I would like to do well academically. That is my biggest goal right now

I am an international student from Vietnam and that is what sets me apart from my peers. In an American’s eyes, my appearance, my actions, my speech, and my cuisine are very different but I am proud of how my tradition has shaped me. The longer I have been here, the more I recognize how valuable my culture is to me. It is unique and special because it separates me from others. It not only tells people who I am but also tells stories about the place I grew up in, about my country’s customs, about the way people conduct themselves in my home country.

While growing up in Vietnam, I gained background knowledge in herbalism. During my childhood, my house was in an area that was deep in the wilderness. There were only a few houses clustered together. My grandmother used to grow a lot of herbs and vegetables on a vacant plot of land next to my house. She and her maid were the people who taught me how to use herbs for healthcare. I grew to love the study of herbalism from then on. I desire to work for a natural skincare company after I graduate because I want to employ my knowledge in herbalism combined with biology to change the way people look at skincare and cosmetics. Therefore, I would like to major in biology. Initially, my cousin did not really support the idea since my English is not fantastic and my mother also pointed out that I will encounter many obstacles in doing a biology major since there will be a lot of science terms I would have to learn. However, I believe that if I have a passion for a something, no matter how hard it is, I will always be able to overcome the odds.

I believe a conducive environment for study would help me achieve this goal, and it is for this very reason that I love Hamline for its great environment. Though it is a small school with small classrooms, the people are very friendly and it even has an international association. As an international student, I think those elements are very important to me.

I enjoy being active and I used to do some volunteer work while I was in high school. I cannot say which one I liked the best and which one I liked the least because I enjoyed doing all of them. Through the volunteer work I met different individuals who brought me different experiences.

However, one of them is particularly memorable to me:

My uncle has a charity organization. Older people often gather there to study English, practice meditation and Tai- Chi. Once, the association had volunteers cooking breakfast and lunch. All the profit from the meals were to be sent to an orphanage. I supported that idea because I love to cook. I thought it was a great chance for me to meet with others and improve my cooking skill but I only knew a few simple dishes at that time. So, my aunt and a lot of the ladies in that organization helped me in cooking. They were really harsh if I worked slowly and made mistakes. That really hurt my pride but after that, I slowly realized that they only wanted the best for me. After three months, my skill improved and I was able to cook for myself.

I have only been in college for a month and still have not discovered what my strengths are. However, I know that I would very much like to improve my social skills and speech. By the time I graduate, I want to be a more sociable person with lots of friends.

However, for now my current goal would be to excel academically.

you seem very dilligent and I admire you for it! Hope you succeed

I am international student. That is what unique about me. I am from Vietnam. In an American’s eyes, my appeal, my actions, my language, my cuisine are very different and I am proud of my heritage and what it has brought me. The more I have been here, the more I recognize how valuable my culture is. It is unique and special because it separates me from the others. It is not only tells about me, but also tells stories about the place I grew up, about my country’s customs, about how people were in my land.

Because I grew up in Vietnam, I have a background knowledge in herbalist practices. In my childhood, my house was in a wilderness area. There are only few houses in a row. My grandmother used to grow a lot of herbs and vegetables on the vacant plot of land next to my house. She and her maid taught me how to use herbs for healthcare. From that time on I fell in love with herbalist practices. I would like to work for a natural skincare company after I graduate because I want to employ my knowledge in herbal medicine combined with my biology major to change the way people look about skincare and cosmetics.

I love Hamline for the school environment. It is a small school, has small class sizes and very friendly people and it even has an international association. As an international student, I think those elements are very important for me.

I want to pursue a biology major. My cousin did not really support the idea since my English is not great. My mother pointed out that I will have a lot of trouble with biology since there will be a lot of science terms. However, I believe that if I love a major, no matter how hard it will be I will succeed.

I used to do some volunteer work while I was in high school. I cannot say which one I like the best and which one I like the least because I enjoyed to do all of them. Individual projects brought me different experiences.

However, I have a profound memory of one of them:

My uncle has a charity organization. Older people often gather there to study English and to practice meditation and Tai- Chi. Once the association asked a volunteer to cook breakfast and lunch. All the profit of the meals would be sent to the orphanage. I supported that idea because I love to cook. I think it is a great chance for me to meet others and to improve my cooking skills. I only knew some simple dishes that time. My aunt and a lot of ladies in that organization help me to learn a great deal. They were really harsh if I worked slow and made mistakes. That hurt my pride but I came to know that they only want the best for me. After three months my skill improved and I was able to cook by myself.

I only went to college for one moth. I did not discover what my strength is. I would like to improve in social skills and verbal skills. By graduation, I want to be more sociable and have a lot of friends.

I would like to succeed in academics. That is my current goal.

Hi, I like to correct grammar! Your text is understandable. i would recommend you to read it through carefully and compare it to your original text to see what I have changed. You need to work on the following:

verb tense usage–where past or present fits in

punctuation

plurals

relative pronouns–a girl who….. a major that…. a job, which…..

usage–do a lot of varied reading, also of easy texts to learn how words are used.

don’t give up–you will succeed!!

I am an international student….

a girl does not know much about the culture…..

what my tradition brings with me…..

the value my culture brought for me….

my house is in a wilderness area….

herbs and vegetables….

The more I have lived here….

and there are more you need to correct, but I have limited space to answer. You need a mentor to review this for you before you go too far with it.

And like ‘for come abroad’ should be ‘to come abroad’.

‘…international student then (;)’ and next thought.

And ‘…what my traditional brings to me’ maybe more ‘what my traditions or ethnicity brings to me.’

It’s not at the end, ‘to be more socialize’ just ‘to be more social’.

Just some wrong wording here and there, but very good otherwise.

Your program for typing the essay (like Word Perfect) should have grammar check and spell check. Try using them.

Proofread – Read your essay again. At the end, it says “I only went to college for one moth,” instead of month. Spell Check doesn’t catch things like that – but grammar check might.

Your essay is very interesting. Please be encouraged to continue trying!! 🙂

You are doing pretty good with english. Just a few corrections:

grandmother is one word.

In “I am international student,that is what unique about me” you can revise that and write “I am an international student,that is what is unique about me.”

Only one more correction: in the line

“After three moths,” I think you mean, “After three months”

Other than that, I like your essay. 🙂

I hope that helps.