Parents do have to have a hands-on approach in raising a child with a learning disability. The parents may want to supplement such a child’s education at school with reinforcing educational experiences at home. Parents of children with learning disabilities must advocate for their children when interacting with the schools in order to make sure the school does their part. Parents will also need to research the specific condition the child has so that they know the child’s needs, are the best advocates that they can be for their child, know the best strategies for teaching things to their own child, and know how to best keep the child fully integrated into the daily activities of the family and community. Often times, learning disabilities are mild enough that most people won’t single out the child as being different from any other, but as parents, you have to not lose sight of the fact that each person is a unique individual, and that you need to be mindful to tailor things for your children according to what is most effective for working with them even while others take the one-size-fits-all approach.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and has been diagnosed with autism. Not quite the same, but a lot of what you said strikes close to home. We told only our closest friends so far even a full year after her diagnosis as it’s hard to bring up and even if you do, not everyone has nice reactions. You’ll get some of the reactions we have gotten too, such as saying it’s overdiagnosed and doesn’t really happen as much as they think it does, whatever the latest theory it is that causes it (which just leads to self-blame a lot of times), how the doctors must be wrong they look/seem fine, or people starting to go on a huge tangent about their own children. If you’re not comfortable telling others yet then just don’t. It does get easier, but usually only once you’ve half dealt with it yourself. Last thing you need is an inconsiderate reaction when you’re still trying to make sense of it yourself. Find some good therapists in your area, but in the end money isn’t going to be the key but persistence. Attend the therapy sessions with your child and if they’re too distracted by you sit back or in a different room where you can still hear. For example, most people who do speech therapy will do 30-60 minutes once a week, but it’s all that time between sessions where all the practicing and reinforcing needs to happen which will really make those 60 minutes once a week matter or not. Find others, such as a support group, who understand what you’re going through. Over the last few years you may have unintentionally been backing away from your friends with “normal” children because – I don’t know about you – but I found it tremendously difficult to hear others go on about their child’s accomplishments or worse complain about what is perfectly typical behavior (e.g. going through the “why?” phase, or having a child who always wants to play with you all the time, etc). A support group will put you in contact with others who can sympathize and give you advise and even best recommend the best therapists in your area so you don’t waste time with the crummy ones. Good luck!

I have an 8 yr old daughter with learning disabilities and speech problems. I would say the hard part about raising a child with learning disabilities is all of the meetings and appointments you have to go to to initially get diagnosed. There is always that fear in the back of your mind that they are going to say nothing is wrong but you know that there is, and you are going to be left to deal with it on your own. My daughter’s school has been very good about meeting her educational needs. She is a very social child also, so making friends is not hard for her to do. I take everything one day at a time and do what I have to do I guess you could say. When she was in kindergarten they just had her in the regular classroom. They do not offer special ed in our school system for kindergarten, so that was very stressful on her. She is a lot better now that she is getting the help that she needs. I hope this information helps you!

The question should be how hard is it on the child? They are the ones that learn differently then others. The parent usually learns early how there child learns. The difficulty comes in when the parent has to advocate for the child at school. That can be a long and hard battle.

My experience has been very difficult. I have two of my three children with disabilities. Add any major medical diagnosis on top of the learning disability and you get heartbreak. Schools are so interested in making themselves look good to the FEDS & state for their funding they don’t care what happens to the kids. IEP’s are just paper. Most times if parents asked their child or support staff, they’ll find out these aren’t being properly followed. I can’t begin to tell you how many times the school tried to manipulate me or my children into something that was convenient for them. My eldest is a stroke victim, and he suffers a great many things including cognitive dysfunction and dementia. The school staff wanted to argue with me about something as simple as checking his assignment book to make sure things for homework came home. They tried to put it off on my son that “he’s lazy & manipulative.” I’ve tried to give the school info on his disease to explain why he is the way he is. It doesn’t help. I make sure I get outside neuropsych evals etc since the school always denies him OT & ST. I’ve had teachers withold work for 6 mos. then give it to me at report card time and tell me he’s failing. I’ve had them allow him to lay in the nurses office all day long having TIA symptoms and not call me or the ambulance. My next child has multiple diagnosis as well and isn’t fairing out any better. Help for him is provided in spurts “when they are able” My eldest is now in charter school the stress from the school was having an ill effect on his health. My next child is now being enrolled there as well. It is so hard on a parent to see other kids mistreat their children, let alone have school staff that are supposed to be there to help them do so as well.

It was truly the worst day of my life when I found out my son was PPD. For three months I would set my alarm clock at 5:30 every morning so my son would not see me cry. Then one day I realized that this wasn’t a horrible thing (not a great thing, but not horrible). It was like my son was going to die, he was more than likely going to live to see his birthday, he wasn’t mute . . . this was just something to address. The more I researched his condition and relevant treatments the more at ease I became. Ultimately, I feel I have found the right treatment for my son and his condition is (while constantly in the forefront of my mind) not overwhelming or even stressful. I’ve accepted that my child learns differently than other children. I actively try to stay positive and hopeful. I have faith that I will be able to handle this now . . . However, I should note – I stay at home and my husband and I have adequate financial resources to pursue alternative therapy. I have found there are many wonderful treatments for autism but you have to be able to afford them. . .

It is difficult for the parents for several reasons:

1. The plans and dreams they had for their child are derailed, like you get on a plane bound for England but land in Holland – not horrible, but not what you planned for and dreamed of.

2. Parents of children with a learning disability are expected to help more with their child’s education by providing extensive help with homework.

3. Frequently they have to fight with the school and teachers to get their child the help they need or to have teachers folllow the IEP.

I have a daughter who has language processing disorder. All her life I have had to deal with the fact that she just doesn’t absorb information or draw conclusions the way a normal learner would. Communication is very difficult and I have to deal with a short, defensive fuse. Learning differences can impact family communications, finances, and even your hopes for the future.