A few days ago
lil kay

is this poem any good?

hey you guys i just want to know if this poem is good or not well here it goes. hellos are hard i dont know what to say you would look the other way. i blushed every time i saw you . you talked to me everyday you smile and laughed but once again i looked away, finally one day you talked to me once more and i finally got the courage to say hello and not ignore. from that point on we were together everyday until you left me and went far far away we had to say good bye they are harder than hellos but after a short time i finally let you go i know it will be really hard for you and i but when ever we get lonely we can look up in the sky, and i know that god is watching over you and you will also know that he’s watching me to he’ll bring us back together before to much has passed,and we can be together once again .. at last……

Top 10 Answers
A few days ago
_~^*^~_ Ninja Fighter_~^*^~_

Favorite Answer

awesome poem. i love it!
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A few days ago
pinkprairiestorm
You’ve got a great poem going. You need to work on the fluency a bit. The voice is good, but can be improved. Go back through the poem and change words that are repeated too often, such as “once” (you use that word very often) and “finally.” Format your poem, unless you prefer a paragraph format…Stanzas would make it easier for most people to read. Last, try to close the poem with a sentence/phrase that ties back to the opening sentence/phrase. Let me know how it ends up!

God Bless.

Pinkprairiestorm

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A few days ago
masince1986
It COULD be, but freeform poetry is best left to experienced writers. Why don’t you try to rewrite this, using the same theme, but trying to be grammatically correct in your presentation?

I think you have a good idea, but it is just too hard to follow as you have written it.

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A few days ago
alec_chap
Sounds like it embodies the social theme of high school.

Pretty good.

Work on format and presentation.

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A few days ago
bibliophile31
If you’re going to make a poem rhyme, you should stick with the same number of beats per line.

I didn’t mean to make that rhyme. ๐Ÿ™‚

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A few days ago
ayeesha
its pretty good a bit hard to follow some times. go through it and if u find it a bit hard to understand yourself than others will to. good on you for writing it though!
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A few days ago
ladyluck
it’s more of a short hopeless romantic letter that happens to rhyme somehow than a poem honey.
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A few days ago
Michelle
I really liked it!

I think you have a true talent! thanks for sharing!

hope you inspire others to write and infuse their writing with faith.

very beautiful! keep it up! ๐Ÿ™‚

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A few days ago
Anonymous
It’s good.
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A few days ago
Sham
it’s ok n it sounds real
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