At work she spent most of her time advising others what to do but when it came to knowing what to do for herself she hadn’t a clue and usually either just surrendered to the hopelessness or found a way to escape it temporarily.

One of her favorite “escape routes” lately was a question and answer forum called Yahoo Answers where she spent countless hours writing stories that helped her free herself from her burdensome reality.

Although it provided distraction and entertainment, at times, it started to mimic life a little too closely !!

In fact, just the other day,she had jumped to an erroneous conclusion, a$s-u-ming that one of her Yahoo buddies had “dissed” her! She later learned that It was a totally wrong assumption but she had already made her plans!!!

Saying “To Hell with Yahoo Answers!!!”, she took off for the weekend, having a peaceful, contemplative time, which she spent on the beach, soaking up the sun and the salty air, and instead of escaping, as was her norm, she used the time to really think about her life and her problems and what she could actually do to get out of the rut she was in.

What had started out as an attempt to escape Yahoo Answers (which was her usual escape from reality!), had turned into an opportunity for her to truly search her soul and come up with some long needed solutions for her life!

Without her relentless conscious control, which had actually been hampering her decision making capabilities, she was able to relax , let go, and put her current situation into perspective. As a result, she was able to take some of the fine advice she so freely gave to her patients every day and use it to make some changes for herself !!

Circa 1876

“The Thing”

Strange doings were going on in old Dodge; Very strange.Livestock were disappearing. Studly young men were being stalked. Howls could be heard in the dead of night.

Howls not of this………..world ! All the townsfolk had their theories.Festus thought that the howls were that of a coyote experiencing gas pains. He reckoned that the stalking was that of Preacher Profitt’s son, Porky.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikaelcosmo/285109791/ Porky’s mother had been inpregnated by a barnyard animal, years ago. Preacher Profitt had married her so the child could be delivered in a hospital, instead of a sty. For the past 18 years, Porky had insisted on living in an open pen, on the farm.His idea of fun was to see how close he could stalk a person before they were able to smell him. In regard to the missing livestock…..Festus had not a clue.

Doc had some different theories. Being a man of medicine, he felt there were logical explanations for all the strange occurences. In a nutshell, he believed that some of the more libidious female teenagers were playing pranks . He believed that sooner or later they would return to their normal activities…….. Littering and petty theft.

Marshal Dillon had his own theory. He was not convinced that these were the pranks of Porky or the shananigans of teenagers. He had been reading a book about creatures from outer space. He had a visual in his mind of just WHAT was causing all the chaos. He felt it was a large,carnivorous,horny creature……..Not of this world. He thought it was…..THE THING !!

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When he told the folks of Dodge what he believed was responsible for all the frightening events, panic broke out!!

Folks boarded up their homes. Young men were not allowed to go outside unattended. Some people packed their belongings and left town: http://historyforkids.utah.gov/fun_and_games/photos/images/picturestocolor/large/wagon_train_photo_large.jpg

Sunshine MacGillicutty, Matt’s girlfriend, was the only one who thought that all these theories, especially Matt’s, were absurd. At the town meeting, she stood up and spoke her mind:

“*ahem* Ladies and gentlemen. I have heard all of your theories. Festus…….You ignorant fool…….Are you on drugs?!”

Doc? Our teens are not clever enough to have pulled this off.

Matt? Dear GAWD!!!! Are you out of your F ing MIND??!!”

(Matt slid down in his seat.) “I have a plan that I propose. I say that we have a group of people, say …..4 or 5, each night patrol the streets of Dodge. SURELY, someone will see SOMETHING and we will at last get to the bottom of this. ”

Everyone agreed that her plan might work.

The first night, no one saw a thing. The second night?….The same. But on the THIRD night, something happened!! Sunshine was in the patrol group that evening. She heard a rustling in the bushes….Then a howl that caused a few of the men to soil their pants. When a dark figure started to scramble , Sunshine pounced on it. There were horrific shrieks !! Sunshine got punched in the face…….but she held on. All the men gathered around. “One of the guys yelled out:”CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! He stopped when he saw Matt’s disapproving glare:

At last Sunshine stood up and pointed her gun, saying:”Whoever you are, let your identity be known!!!

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Slowly, ever soooooooooo slowly, the being stood up, paused….. and then took off a black stocking cap. Doc grabbed his chest! Festus swallowed his chewing tobacco. Matt stared in disbelief.

O M G !!!! It was …..non other…..than…………………………………..

Miss Kitty Russell!!!

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The huge quantities of alcohol that she had been consumming since Matt had left her for Sunshine, had finally taken their toll.

She was taken to Hayes City that very night to receive the

psychiatric care that she so desperately needed.

This tale has been passed down from generation to generation, to illustrate two simple points:

1. Do not jump to conclusions. (And stop reading sci-fi magazines JUST before you go to bed!)

2. Sometimes the most obvious answer is the real answer. There are no such things as outerspace creatures ………or

ARE THERE ?! Muawwwwwwwwwwwwwww !!!