Behind I strive to keep along

Proficiently you tread down grass and weed,

Leaving almost nothing to yield to me.

Spring leaves a blossom crown in your hair,

Late as I am, I get leaves instead.

The wind whips against your sturdy frame,

And bounces back, not even brushing me.

The sun scolds your already scathed skin,

But I’m safe and sheltered in your shadowy shade.

Though battered and bruised you beat the barricades,

Leaving a clear, smooth path free for me.

You step aside, your face mottled and wet

And give your marching boots to me.

This poem is about the relationship between my mother and I. I’ve always looked up to her; she is just far superior both morally and intellectually to anybody else we know. Though sometimes she seems overprotective and we sometimes argue a little, it is all because she loves me and is trying to protect me. Every success she has had was to make it easier for me to succeed, and I know this. Although sometimes when growing up, some of the limits she placed on me seemed to be mean, they were all acts of love even if I didn’t see it straight away; this is why I’ve structured the poem how it is- it is a sonnet with the octave and seset switched around because at first glance it does not appear to be a poem of love. I’m not sure if I want to give this to my mom, I might just keep it for myself.

Anyway, now you know what it’s about, what do you think I should alter to improve it? I have tried to do it myself, but self-criticism is very hard.