Here are my critical points:

I wouldn’t use “wind” twice. I would say, “An icy breeze…” instead of wind at the beginning. Or something like an, “An icy chill descended through the room…” or “An icy chill engulfed the room as they all…”

The punctuation of:

“They then rushed upstairs at once to find the youngest girl, Eileen on the floor, her white Princess lace in a puff all around her.”

I’m not sure about this but think there should be a comma after Eileen as in “… youngest girl, Eileen, on the floor, …”

or maybe: “They then rushed upstairs at once to find the youngest girl, Eileen, on the floor with her white Princess lace all in a puff around her.”

I don’t think I would say, “…as if a December wind might have crossed her soul…” I would leave out “might have.” IOW, ” as if a December wind crossed her soul”

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Anyway, I probably shouldn’t do this, but here is your story rewritten… see what you think:

It was a spooky Halloween evening in the Scott’s household. Mr. Scott and Edward had been in the business of exchanging eerie tales throughout the evening. Mrs. Scott seemed not to mind the fearsome path of their discussion. An icy chill engulfed the room as they all shivered simultaneously.

At half past nine, Edward stood with the match and candle, ready to take his pumpkin to the front room when he heard a piercing scream. As fast as he could, Edward dashed into the lower hall just before Mr. and Mrs. Scott arrived there.

Rushing upstairs they found Eileen, the youngest girl, on the floor looking pale as a ghost with her white Princess lace in a puff all around her. Elizabeth, the other girl, dressed as Cleopatra with a serpentine headpiece, was shaking as if a December wind crossed her soul. Mrs. Scott put her arms around the girl while Mr. Scott helped the youngest to her feet.

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