Maybe you can’t come up with an opening, as the teacher is a stretch. Maybe its someone you read about, like the guy who had to cut off his arm after it was pinned by a boulder after being trapped for several days. Huge amounts of courage there, not a bad book either. (Between a rock and a hard place).

Have funk, remember the teacher will never know or care if its really who inspired you, so you could say Van Gogh, as once he dedicated himself to art, he worked at it constantly, sometimes, buying more paint than food. He was a lot of things, slacker wasn’t one of them.

“Let me tell you about Paul Ding. I have many teachers, and I was going to write about a teacher who inspired me, but when I found I wasn’t inspired enough to have a single word to say, I turned to Paul.

“Paul says that the key to good writing is to have something to say, and then to say it. Since I have nothing to say, nothing at all, it is impossible for me to write a good essay. As students are a blank slate, ready to be molded, this is going to be the case for most students assigned to write essays about important experiences in their life that have never occurred. One would think teachers would be tired of getting mind-numbing drivel year after year, but apparently some teachers aren’t too bright.

“Actually, I’m inspired by Brittany Spears. I’d like to dance around, a torpid stumblebum, and embarrass myself on cable television shows with high ratings. I fear, however, that as I lack the requisite fame to be allowed such freedom, I must abandon such ambition.

“Instead, I’d like to talk about Danni, of Danni’s Hard Drive. Internet porn sites such as hers have been inspiring teenaged boys for over a decade, and contributed mightily to fighting the country’s plummeting birth rate.

“If we are going to prevent Mexicans from entering this country, our population will plunge disasterously. This has serious implications for Social Security and Medicare. We cannot fund them from savings, any more than you can ensure yourself of salad in February by tossing heads of iceberg lettuce in the refrigerator the previous June. In a service economy, we must have people to perform the services, and if there are too many seniors to support relative to the number of workers providing that support, seniors will starve.

“Consequently, I feel responsible – and Danni has provided the inspiration. Do you have a teenaged daughter, or can you refer me to the teenaged daughter of a friend? I must do my patriotic duty to help solve the looming Social Security crisis.