OK, I have a couple of comments here.

One, is this supposed to be an opinion piece? If so, then most of it fits nicely (although I don’t really agree with you on some of your premises).

As to the mechanics of the piece, I think it was quite good. I could give a better opinion if I knew what grade you are in.

The one piece that definitely caught my attention in a bad way (again, mechanically), was this line “This article will discuss the definition of …”

As a matter of style, I never like the “this article” “This essay” thing. Your thesis statement should be strong enough that you don’t have to tell us what it will be about.

Other than that, nice job!

P.S. I don’t have to agree with you to appreciate good work.

Hi

Think the article is okay but you have said that its a feature article (in what area).

Saying that i think that the article is very personal. The article is very pro bible however its not based on fact. Which make the article personal.

We know that history books (and the bible is a history book) are written by people who want us to believe in one thing.

What i am disappointed in is that you don’t use real modern day heroes such as mother tereasa (forgive the spelling) or Mahatma Gandhi. What about local individuals who have given selfishlessly to their community by voluntarily working in homeless shelters. The models that you have written about could be argued that they are not heroes but rather people who inspire us which is a different thing entirely.

However good luck with the article

The three races, meals, competition & and so on… When every body talks approximately Malaysia vacationer locations, it have got to be KL, the Twin Towers… If you desire to put in writing approximately Malaysia’s town lifestyles, you’ll be able to discover plenty of resources. Do you ever believe of writing the opposite facet of Malaysia? Focus on East Malaysia which the location isn’t as busy because the West M., the wooded area, flora and fauna, endanger species, crops, shorelines, the lifetime of the opposite races like Orang Asli that lives within the wooded area Kadazan, Ibans that lives within the East Malaysia. We have the biggest cave on the planet, the tallest mountain within the South East Asia, the Rain Forest Musical Fest, and the conventional fest which celebrates by means of the tribes that you cannot see in West Malaysia. Good success for your initiatives!

I like the first part very much, up until the first bit that you added in details. I feel that you started to write in another style altogether at that point, it became less of a study and more personal feelings I think. But it is still very good.

Please read my essay question and help me out as well! thanks!

good, very good. I think it’s a great one with some a lil bit more of revisions..but since u said not to, then i say it’s Best!..a big hand for u dude!

haha AWESOME job…ma lil big bro…hehe! i haven’t read it though, but i no it’s good…it rox! 🙂