A few days ago
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rate(1-5) and comment, maybe edited for word choice my paragraph please?

The rich soft chocolate cake layered with chocolate cream that covers the top and circumfrence, flirtatious wants me. Being taking over by its smooth and delicious looks, i just had to have seconds. Tasting again the foamy and spongy cake laying still in its favorite position. As i slowly scoop the last bits, i remeber the short and tasty times we had together.

so what do you think???

hows the word choice i did?

did i “show and dont tell.”?

Top 1 Answers
A few days ago
Anonymous

Favorite Answer

not bad

u should probably find another word for cake to make the reader curious about what u r talking about and make them use their imagination

you are showing more than u r telling so that is good too

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