write 1980’s instead of ’80’s’

no comma after Sting (1st sentence)

second sentence is a bit of a run-on. try one sentence about him introducing powerful new music in many genres, then a sentence that ‘not only is he a well rounded musician, but he has become a …’ etc.

third sentence – try ‘dedicates’ instead of ‘engrosses’

fourth sentence – Read that sentence aloud to see if it makes sense. Try to simplify it ‘Sting has millions of fans not only becase of his great voice, but also because of his powerful ability…’etc.

make sure you quote your sources for this paper!

good luck, and great topic!

Beginning in the early 80’s as the leader of an English rock band, Sting has now become a profound soloist globally renowned. Introducing powerful music in the genres of rock, pop, new wave, jazz and classical, not only is he well-rounded, but he has also become a world-wide activist by strongly supporting environmentalism and humanism. As much as he uses his time to care for the environment and civilization, his talent is mostly in music and being able to introduce a great amount of variety into his work. His millions of fans that span the world flock to him not only because of his great voice, but because they are drawn by his ability to weave beautiful lyrics that strike chords in people and fill them with awe.

I don’t understand why you have to say “beginning in the early 80s” or “an English rock band”. Is it because you were unable to find through your research what band he was in or when they formed? By the way, they were called The Police and they formed in 1977.

Try to write shorter sentences. It’s so easy to get lost in them, especially when you have to read 15 words before you even reach the subject. And please try to avoid repetition.

Here’s how I’d do it:

Having emerged on the pop music scene as the front man for The Police, Sting’s greatest fame has come from being a solo artist. His music has spanned a wide variety of genres and has provided him a platform for environmental and humanitarian activism. With a great voice and a strong lyrical sense, Sting has attracted a following of millions.

You mentioned Sting in a sentence which I believe is the name of the band. I had to read it again and assumed it was the band. You need to put it out there to show it. It sounds flat with no meaning. Like it is supose to start off a new sentence after the pause (period). I would suggest you put it in parenthesis. You need a period after civilization so there is no run on sentences and capitilize his. Your words are very strong and welcoming to read. The ending should change. Why would someone ask why does he have millions of fans when everyone knows that when someone has a fan that means that he is liked. You could put; The reason why he has millions of fans is not only because of his great voice, but and then finish the sentence.

I would suggest re-reading it. You have excessive and some uneeded useage of commas, and some run-on sentences. Your final sentence could also be re-worded for continuity and “flow”. It is a bit “un-balanced” in reading.

Good luck.

Sounds good. Good intro, could work on the thesis a little bit more.

you need to write with regard to the conflict field how problematic it became to outfitted because of the fact it became that approximately one thousand human beings in good shape to work out it this is positive and it became problematic to outfitted like that and statues of their kings!!!!!!!!!! please 10 factors