ok is my essay ok its kinda long but just say yes or no plzz i need an A?
Ever since a man named Charles Babbage developed the first computer in the late 1800, technology has been skyrocketing. Everywhere you go there will seem to be someone listening to an ipod or talking on a cell phone. But is technology these days helping us survive this world, or destroying are life’s? Many people may say it’s helpful, while others will be lead to believe it’s dangerous, and shouldn’t been invented. This never ending war of who’s right and who’s is wrong will never be won, because technology is all around and it will improve domestically over time.
Technology is very important to almost everyone in this world. If it weren’t for technology a lot of people wouldn’t be alive. Scientist wouldn’t discover treatments and cures for all the people that are sick and need medication, like for diabetics and cancer patients. Also the hospitals need technology like x-rays, so that they can see any broken bones. Or a heart monitor, to check if there heart is beating in the right rhythm. Even the littlest of technology can light up a whole room. No matter what size it is, Technology is everywhere and nobody would live without it.
Not all technology is good; there is some that destroys and others that kill. For instance, guns and nuclear weapons. These types of weapons are very dangerous, that kills hundreds over the years. If this powerful technology gets in the wrong hands, then everyone is in harm. Also the atomic bomb that hit Japan in 1945 was a terrible tragedy. This new technology was so powerful that even the scientist that created didn’t know how powerful it was. It killed thousands of innocent people and destroyed hundreds of building. Not only America has the nuclear weapons, terrorists have them too. They also have technology that can hack into personal files in the computer. That is how they can plan their attack without us knowing, because they are always one step ahead of us.
Everyone knows that technology will improve over the years and will make society better. There will find a better way to detect serious threats in the airports. Or even build a flying car. In Japan they all ready made a robot, but over the years the robot will improve and improve. Until it is perfect for every household to get one to help around the house or even work in factories. The bad side of robots is that they might take over other people’s jobs, so that hundreds of people wont have a job and be poor. Also everyone believes when the first sheep was cloned, that also humans can get cloned. Scientist are not yet finished with the cloning process but in the future they will succeed and will make a clone of a human. No one is for sure though, but technology these days is advancing in rapid steps.
Is technology helping us or is it destroying us? Unfortunately, there is no clear-cut answer. It boils down to us needing technology for entertainment and helping to fight disease. There may also be a time when we must use weapons for self-defense. That is why, many people think it is a bad idea for inventors to create those terrible weapons. In today’s society, one could say we rely on technology a little too much, but through modern technological advancement, we have been able to prolong life and better our way of live.
Favorite Answer
That’s all the problems I saw with your essay, but, overall, I think you presented your argument in a clear and concise way, and for that, I would give you an A.
Really?
Everywhere you go someone is listening to an ipod or talking on a cell phone>>
are life’s>> our lives?
shouldn’t <
wouldn’t <
then everyone is in harm>> in harm’s way
These edits will help a bit. You need to watch your tenses. If the beginning of the sentence is set in the past, the rest of the sentence must be, as well.
Robots are all over the place, and they do take jobs. Also, don’t say terrorists *have nuclear weapons* – we don’t know that. Say might hav nuclear weapons instead.
Last thing – a nuclear bomb didn’t “hit Japan” – hit implies a random event, like a hurricane. A nuclear bomb was dropped on Japan, quite deliberately, by the US.
Good luck with your essay.
An example of your grammar problems:
“Everywhere you go there will seem to be someone listening to an ipod or talking on a cell phone.”
It should read —
Everywhere you go, there seems to be someone listening to an Ipod or talking on a cell phone.
You have really mixed up your tenses.
However having said this, I really want to commend you for doing your own work and posting it for our critique. Kudos! You have used this site correctly!
(For the person who thought this was worth an “A”, you are probably failing English yourself.)
3rd paragraph 2nd sentence that kill hundreds over years not kills and over the years.
i saw a couple more typos but i forget where mostly just plural and singlular things also if this is a persuasive essay your not taking a side but i dont think it is but overall its pretty good it really depends on what grade you are in
- Academic Writing
- Accounting
- Anthropology
- Article
- Blog
- Business
- Career
- Case Study
- Critical Thinking
- Culture
- Dissertation
- Education
- Education Questions
- Essay Tips
- Essay Writing
- Finance
- Free Essay Samples
- Free Essay Templates
- Free Essay Topics
- Health
- History
- Human Resources
- Law
- Literature
- Management
- Marketing
- Nursing
- other
- Politics
- Problem Solving
- Psychology
- Report
- Research Paper
- Review Writing
- Social Issues
- Speech Writing
- Term Paper
- Thesis Writing
- Writing Styles