A few days ago
I need help with English?
Do you think the following THESIS is strong. PLZ some advice!!!!!!
1. XX is an ineffective transportation for a worker, because of the inconvenience of timing, the umcomfortableness on the bus, and the safty concerned with passengers.
Please make cosrrections.
(chan)
Top 2 Answers
A few days ago
Favorite Answer
it might be a good thesis statement/topic, but you have to improve on some things:
1. inconvenience of timing – to the worker’s schedule, like the possibility of being late, missing the bus, etc? does it refer to bus schedules or just how time consuming this type of transportation is?
2. i dont think “uncomfortableness” is a good word to use. “discomfort” sounds better.
3. safety *concerns* is better than safety concerned with passengers. they have different meaning in context.
a lot of facts and figures to back it up will be very good with this thesis.
hope i helped!
0
A few days ago
needs a few spellin corrections but other then that it sounds good to me lol
0
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