A few days ago
Ibrahim A

Hi all how r u I hope you all doing fine I have a paragraph and I hope you help me if there are any mistakes?

This is the paragraph .

If you want to add any thing there is no problem.

My father once told me that life is all about choices. He said “My boy when you make

choices in your life always remember that choices have consequences.” ” He, therefore,

advised me to always study my choices carefully before I take decisions. He told me that

studying and evaluating choices means weighing the risks they could entail and

measuring the costs and benefits of a given choice. This so because choices could have

bad consequences that could last a life time with irreversible results. I said to my father

“Thank you father for the advice, I will make sure that I study and evaluate the choices

before I make any decisions.”

Top 1 Answers
A few days ago
dnldslk

Favorite Answer

Ib, the paragraph’s actually pretty good the way it is.

He said, (add comma)

My boy, (add comma)

your life, (add comma although it is a bit optional

I would take all the ideas of your father and put them in quotation marks. What you’ve done is mix direct and indirect discourse. You CAN do this, but why?

You’ll have to remove some words to do this.

For instance:

“always remember that choices have consequences. Always study your choices carefully….

Don’t say “this is so because….” Simply say (remember, you are now still within your father’s quotations, “…benefits of a given choice. Choices could have bad consqequences….

End his quotation with the words: irreversible results.

Now use a new paragraph.

I said to may father, (use a comma)

“Thank you, father, for the advice. I will….

(note that father should be within commas. Begin a new sentence with “I will

All in all, not a bad paragraph. It just needs a little cleaning up.

By the way, I sure wish the value system that resulted in this relationship with your father were still around today–at least in the US.

Good luck. And say hi to your father for me!

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