Don’t get me wrong, this is an absolute exaggeration of what you wrote. However, it was an example of what not to do, and of what to steer clear away from, and unfortunately there were times where I heard this in your writing.

You have a very well structured conclusion which is of utmost importance, however your introduction could be a little bit stronger. Instead of listing off emotions and substantives, is there something they all have in common? And isn’t this rather bombastic?

‘…ways to bring certain opinionated views across to the audience in an indirect way.’

I like what you do, and I would definitely give you an A, I’m sure your teacher has to read gobs of horrible essays and yours is far from horrible. It’s quite good actually, and very thorough. However, and I mean to be taken with a grain of salt, unless of course you’re striving to be a writer, put a little more distance to the events, and unless you’re trying to make me feel like I was there, don’t describe everything to me as if I was.

For example, instead of saying how ‘then ricky did this which made charlotte do that…which was really bad at the sailing tournament’ try,

By this point, Ricky’s attitude towards the matter began causing tension within his relationship to Charlotte, reaching a pinnacle (or high point or was strongest or whatever) when they met again at A (not THE, i wasn’t there so I don’t know what ‘the’ is) sailing tournament.

My point is to elaborate. Describe the events as if I don’t know a single character, or of a single event, or of a single town. That way your writing will be accessible to everyone.

I know this is a silly book report, and amounts to a hill of beans, so for that, I say again, great job. If you want honest critique, I gave it. Take it with whatever weight you please. I’m used to dry scientific writing so I’m biased, however it IS good to try and describe things from a more objective point of view.

Good luck. Hopefully anything I wrote helps you in the future, if not, good luck still!