(2) It happened right in the middle of the Super Bowl, which ensured wall-to-wall coverage by the networks. The play by play announcer noticed it first as it flashed by over the stadium remarking “Well, even God is providing some fireworks tonight. What a beautiful shooting star.” But the game analyst immediately said (5) “That was no shooting star” he said, and immediately called his producer. “Either I’m having my (1) 19th nervous breakdown or some sort of space ship just flew over the stadium headed toward Beverly Hills. It looks like it’s landing in one of the neighborhoods up there.” he said. The producer notified the news branch manager who called the local affiliate. Several reporters rushed to the landing site hoping to get the scoop on this story.

As they arrived, several of the residents of the area were already standing around the pink spacecraft that had landed in the middle of the street. (10) As the door to the space vehicle opened, a Britney Spears look-alike emerged displaying the same vacant stare and vacuous look associated with her.

The reporter on the scene was trying to remain aloof, reporting just the facts without seeming upset. She was telling the director, “It’s probably just some publicity stunt for a movie. (4) If I hear the word ‘probe’…the I’ll start to panic,” she said and laughed.

At about the same time, the news bulletin was interrupted by another news bulletin. As the scene changed to the square in front of Buckingham Palace, the reporter was saying (3) “Sources have confirmed that the young prince has not been seen for several hours, although that is not unusual during the winter break from college; however (8) word from Buckingham Palace is that the prince’s teddy bear he usually keeps with him at all times is still in his room.” An eyewitness report that he saw a space craft land shortly before the prince was reported missing. The somewhat distraught young woman said she saw a pink spacecraft land about an hour earlier just inside the gate to the palace. She said it was there a few minutes and then quickly departed. (9) “Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. That’s it!!!! I think I’m going to vomit if anything has happened to the prince.” she said.

Meanwhile, back in Beverly Hills, a somewhat inebriated resident of the area had a approached the Britney Spears look alike and engaged “it” in conversation. “Where ya from” he asked. The alien said “I am from the planet Iguana, in the Squamata galaxy.” (7) “Ahhh..That would explain the green skin.” the resident remarked. “So whatcha doin’ here. Didja get lost.” “A hallmark of my people is that we are always lost” remarked the alien, “but that is not why I am here.

The alien continued. “We have a crisis on my planet. Our leader has suddenly started developing a brain and must be replaced. Any sign of intelligence is banned on our planet, and just last week he walked AND chewed gum AT THE SAME TIME. This has never happened on Iguana before and was very upsetting. I am here to find two suitable earthlings to bring back to Iguana whom we can mate to develop a new leader. We heard earth has the best beings for our purposes. We have already selected a male of your species who we think is perfect. We understand he has not shown signs of any intelligence yet. I was told this location is a perfect spot to find a female of the species that meets our specifications.”

At this the resident responded (6) “Have you met my neighbors, yet? They would LOVE to take a ride with you, I’m sure. Plus, the Osborne’s have a daughter who I think is just perfect for your purposes.” After consulting a handheld device, the alien responded, “Ahhhh, you are indeed correct, the daughter would be perfect.” With that, a small army of Britney Spears look-alikes descended on the Osbornes house and whisked Kelly away.” Though disappointed they didn’t take the whole family, the resident was happy that at least one of them was gone.

One year later, a message was transmitted from the planet Iguana indicating that the mating had been successful and a new leader was now in place. The new leader was dubbed “Paris Hilton” and is a perfect example of the Iguana citizen.

lol (; ^^